Monthly Archives: October 2009

You Spin Me Right Round Baby Like a Record Baby…. (Part 4 of 7 of Said the Lion to the Hippo)

This is a series of emails that I wrote to my friend Marcus (a Leo) back in 2002.  It ended up being a story about our friendship and the goofy things that I noticed about our personalities. I made myself the hippo because well, I didn’t think “Kathy the Crab/Scorpian” (being a double water sign) would really work.   

 

 

The sounds of the carnival grew louder and louder as Marcus the Lion and Kathy the Hippo approached.  All around many animals came to play, laugh, and ride the scary rides. Of course, one cannot be at a carnival and not eat greasy, gooey carnival food.  Oh boy! 

Marcus was so excited to see the lights and hear the music that he ran ahead of Kathy screaming, “We have to play the games!  We have to play the games!”  Kathy, however, having the athletic prowess of a German Zeppelin, decided to be Marcus’ cheerleader instead.

First game:  Ball toss. 

-See, I played Baseball when I was a cub.  Nobody could beat me.  And anyway, I am the king.  (Aside:Huh! I’m all shook up!)

Marcus picked up the first ball and Kathy steadied herself to scream “hooray!” but in her excitement she screamed and jumped up and down before Marcus had a chance to throw and this threw off his concentration and, Oh no!  He missed!  Oops!  Kathy felt terribly bad about this but Marcus didn’t get angry.  He just stood there for a second, stared at her, smiled and raised an eyebrow. – Want to try that again missy?” 

-Sorry Marcus.  I got a little carried away.

Second try.  Wham!  Perfect Pitch!  Third try.  Wham!  Perfect pitch!  Fourth try.  Wham! Perfect pitch!  The surrounding zebras went wild and cheered Marcus on.  Kathy was dancing and spinning and jumping up and down with delight! 

The carnie, an old cheetah named Jambo, stepped up and handed Marcus his prize: a free ticket for all the food and drink he could stand to last the whole day. -Here you go Marcus.  That’s some fine throwing there.  Nobody’s ever done that before.

-Or ever will again.
-I imagine not.
-“Food! Glorious food!”, yelled Kathy who was standing behind Marcus and anticipating the delectable junk feast awaiting the two of them. “What should we eat first?”

– Don’t know.  Hey, you want to go on some rides first?
-Good idea.  The better to avoid unecessary “pukation.”
-“Pukation?”  Is that a word?
-If I said it then it is.
-Yes ma’am Miss Kathy, chortled Marcus.
-OK.  What ride to go on first?  What about the spinning tops?
-Spinning tops it is.

Kathy, actually petrified of scary rides, bravely jumped into the top and Marcus happily joined her.  Spinning, spinning, spinning, and faster, faster, faster, turning,turning, and oh my goodness more turning!
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(That’s Kathy screaming her head off).
Marcus loved the ride either way.

The ride slowed down and Kathy stumbled off the top while Marcus quietly got down and picked up a very green Hippo who continued to spin around as she stood there.

-Kathy are you alright?
-Yeah, I think so.  Marcus, how come the ground is spinning?
-Uh…maybe we should go get you some soda.
-I’m feelin’ kinda woozy.  OK

So off Marcus goes to the soda tent with Kathy to get her a Coke for her sensitive little stomach.  And hey!  What are friends for?

And the story continues to cook….

hippolion

Categories: Short Stories | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Miss Landers, Who is Michael Jackson?

Ah youth.  That sweet time in life when you know nothing and everything all at once.

I teach 7th grade Spanish.  Love it actually.  And today, as is my custom, I went to a certain place which shall remain a secret (Panera) and bought my skim Chai Latte.  As I waited for my Friday morning treat; there to my right was a very round lady dressed in a Zorro outfit.  No, she really was!  And at first I thought, “Oh my god lady!  Didn’t anybody tell you the truth before you left the house?!  You look like a fat Zorro!”  And I realized, crap…she means to be a fat Zorro.  Why?  Why not an apple?  Or a pumpkin?  A graf zeppelin?  Anything that works with her naturally outward bound curves. I wonder if she is a fellow teacher.  We do things like this you know.  Why once, I was stupidly convinced to wear one of my cheerleader’s outfits during homecoming when I taught high school.  I don’t even want to know what went through the boys’ heads (oh look what I just wrote -hee! hee!) Who knew how short those skirts are?

So anyway, I sip my creamy spicy delight -wake up and remember that it’s Halloween tomorrow and she’s probably dressed up like her students.  We do crap like that you know?

Somehow this made me think of Michael Jackson’s Thriller (really I can’t even tell you how I made the connection- just go with it)  and in class I asked about it and to my horror there were students who had not seen it.  Sacre bleu!

I told them that we could watch it in its’ entirety on the Smartboard after the quiz.  Below are just some of the comments I caught while they were watching it.

  “Please to enjoy.”

1.  “How does he move like that?  It’s almost like he doesn’t have bones.”

2.  “He must have strong calves because he’s always on his tippy toes.”

3.  “I’ve never seen this video.”

4.  “Miss Landers, were people scared when they saw this video back then?”

5. “It’s kind of like a movie.”

6. “Can you MOVE your BIG head?”

7. “Can we dance?”

8.  ” Why is she just standing there?”

9.  “He looks like a cat.”

10.  Kid #1 – “Why does she run into the only abandoned house on the block?”     Kid #2 – Because people were dumb like that back then.”     Kid #3 – No, it’s an homage to horror films of the 50s (he really said this- a 7th grader)

And then the bell rang and off they went to get ready for Halloween tomorrow!

Categories: Hey Miss Landers! | Tags: , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Like the Leaves on the Trees and the Touch of the Breeze (part 3 of 7 of Said the Lion to the Hippo)

This is a series of emails that I wrote to my friend Marcus (a Leo) back in 2002.  It ended up being a story about our friendship and the goofy things that I noticed about our personalities. I made myself the hippo because well, I didn’t think “Kathy the Crab/Scorpian” (being a double water sign) would really work.   

Drifting, drifting along.  Marcus drifted along with the current of the river and soon began to melt into the water.
-Oh my, he thought- How lovely this feels to glide through the water.  Such lightness and peace.

As he lay on the water with half his body on the top and the lower half below, Marcus delighted in the slight tickly feeling the edges of the water produced on the sides of his face.  He closed his eyes and let the touch of the breeze wash over him as he floated to nowhere in particular.  His
ears suddenly heard sounds quite new to a Lion.  Is that the sound of fish?  I can hear them talking I think.  How marvelous this feels.  Is this what the leaf feels as it gently falls from the tree?  Slowly, calmly, and gently Marcus began to fall asleep and let the river take him to where he needed to go.

What seemed like hours later, Marcus found himself bumping softly like a balloon in the wind against something cushy. He sensed that what was once bright sunshine turned grey and dark.  He opened his eyes to see Kathy smiling down at him with a twinkle in her big brown Hippo eyes. 

-Hey you, she “whisper giggled” and smiled.
-Hey you back.  What’s that sound I hear?
-It’s a carnival over there beyond the trees.  I think we should go.  Don’t you?
-Sounds like a plan to me. 

So our two friends climbed the riverbank and shook themselves dry.  And with that, they headed off in the direction of the carnival music and for a new adventure and fun.

And the story continues to cook…

serengeti

Categories: Short Stories | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Magic Chocolates – Part 2 of 7 (Said the Lion to the Hippo)

 Part 2 of 7

Just as Kathy began to wonder about her new found friend and how he could know the “Kathy in Kathy” Marcus pulled
out yet another box of chocolates.

-Try these Kathy.  They are truffles and have liquor in them.  The Monkey Man gave them to me as a special gift to
celebrate our friendship.  See what you think of them.

Mmmm…truffles.  How can a round bottomed girl like me resist such a temptation from such an interesting Lion, such as he was.

-I think I will eat two please.  Thank you for my presents.

Kathy slipped them in her mouth and began to suddenly feel a “good feeling.” 

-Wow.  These truffles are amazing!  They’re making me feel kinda’ warm and tingly.  I think I’m gonna dance.

Marcus sat back and grinned as the magic chocolates took hold of Kathy.

 -Show me how you move Kathy. I want to see.

-OK.  And before he could finish his last sentence, Kathy began to stand up and move her rumpus to an imaginary beat.  Suddenly, she was moving her shoulders and swaying her arms like a Hula dancer.  -Ooh.  I feel the music in me.

Have you ever seen a Potamus dancing?  Quite a sight, I can assure you.  

Woooo  Hoooo!  Go Kathy! Go!  Have you ever seen a Hippo shake, rattle, and roll?  Man!  Kathy began to dance to such a frenzy that she forgot herself for a moment and  so moved closer to the waters’ edge. 

– Kathy!  Watch out!, yelled Marcus as he lunged forward to grab Kathy and catch her before she………fell into the water! Splash!  Marcus was drenched as he stood on the riverbank.

-Woooo Marcus!  Come on into the water!  Isn’t it delicious?
-I’m a Lion.  We don’t swim.
-But why?
-Don’t know.  I’m a king.  It’s just not done.
-But you should try it.  You might like it.
-You’re right.  OK.  Here I go!  Splash! 
– Marcus!  I’ve never seen you all wet!  You look so funny furry wet! 
-Yeah but look at you.
-What?
-Your curls look like Seaweed.

And the two friends just laughed and splashed around. Kathy did the backstroke and floated around in the middle of the river and let the current drag her along.  Drifting, drifting along.  How yummy.  Marcus slowly learned to maneuver the water and he too began to drift along down the river.  Ah….what fun it is to have such a silly friend.

And the story continues to cook….

marcus the lionkathy the hippo

Categories: Short Stories | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Said the Lion to the Hippo

This is a series of emails that I wrote to my friend Marcus (a Leo) back in 2002.  It ended up being a story about our friendship and the goofy things that I noticed about our personalities. I made myself the hippo because well, I didn’t think “Kathy the Crab/Scorpian” (being a double water sign) would really work.   

So…sit back…please “to enjoy” a cup o’ whatever you drink. And read this children’s (sort of) story.

And there they were; Marcus the Lion and Kathy the Hippo sitting under a tree by the river.  Kathy, of course,
taking up much more shade than Marcus because, after all, she is a Potomas. She sat happily eating a box of
chocolates that Marcus had bought at the Chimp Bazaar in the outskirts of Mombasa.

-See the thing is, said Marcus staring straight ahead to some imaginary spot in the horizon- one of us has to do the thinking in this friendship and it’s gonna have to be me.-

-You may be right.  I can’t decide, said Kathy while staring into the box of delicious delights. 

-You know, there’s a whole side to you missy that nobody’s ever seen.-

-Well how can that be if I’m the size of a small foreign automobile?  And with a curly mop of hair to boot.  It’s
not as though a Hippolina like moi can easily hide, you know.  In short sir, I’m a big chick.-

-OK…so not what I meant.  Pass the chocolates please.-Marcus digs through the empty wrappers for some as
of yet undiscovered piece of sweetness and pops it into his mouth.  While chewing he continues, – No see, wha ah men
was tht yoo dun’t sho yoo hole self.  Man…thith ith goot chocolate. 

Kathy is surprised by the chocolate induced statements and is caught off guard.   How can a Lion see through a Hippo’s
thick skin?  How can a Lion see through the silliness of a Hippo’s jokes and notice what none of the other animals
ever dared to see?  Hmmmm….he has the smarts real good.  I think I’ll have to eat more chocolates with this Lion and
see what else he knows.   

And the story continues to cook….

marcus the lionkathy the hippo

Categories: Short Stories | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

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